Jiaying Hello. This is The English We Speak. I’m Jiaying.
Roy And hello, I’m Roy. I’ve just applied to be the new head of department. My main policy will be that everybody will be able to sing karaoke in the office, and there will be donkeys that deliver drinks to people! I think the senior management will think that’s a great idea and agree to all my changes.
Jiaying You think management would accept that much chaos which would damage productivity? As if!
Roy As if what? You want an example? I don’t understand!
Jiaying No, Roy. Just ‘as if’. We use the expression ‘as if’ to say that something is never going to happen or is obviously untrue. It’s a very informal expression.
Roy So you think they won’t accept my idea? That’s ridiculous. In fact, the senior management has agreed to hold a meeting in ten minutes. I think I’ll be head of department by the end of the day.
Jiaying As if! No one will agree to that idea! We can talk about your meeting after these examples.
Examples You think her second novel was better than her first? As if!
She thinks she could win the award for best short film. As if! It’s rubbish!
As if! I will never become president of the company!
Jiaying This is The English We Speak from BBC Learning English. We’re talking about the expression ‘as if’. We use it to say that something is obviously untrue or will never happen. So how did your meeting go?
Roy Well, I arrived on the floor – but I think they’d given me the floor number. Instead, the eighth floor is where all rubbish in the building goes to get sorted. It’s strange because that’s also the place I’ve been told to send some of my other best ideas.
Jiaying Maybe they were trying to tell you something by sending your work to the eighth floor where the rubbish goes!
Roy As if! My ideas are great, and I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I get promoted.
Jiaying Well, actually, they’ve offered me the position. They liked the idea that by making people work four-day weeks, productivity would go up!
Roy As if!
Jiaying Sorry, Roy, but it’s true! Look!
Roy I can’t believe it! So that means you’re my boss now? Now I can send all my great ideas to you!
Jiaying I think you should just send them straight to the eighth floor. Bye.
Roy Bye.