Journey back to Victorian London with us for the final episode of The Importance of Being Earnest, based on the original comedy by Oscar Wilde.
Everyone is gathered at Jack’s house in the country. Jack is still arguing with Lady Bracknell, but, as soon as Miss Prism arrives, everything changes. It’s time to find out who the real Ernest is…
Narrator Lady Bracknell is visiting Jack’s house in the country. She won’t allow Jack to marry Gwendolen, and Jack, who is Cecily’s guardian, won’t allow Cecily to marry Algernon.
Lady Bracknell Come here, dear child. How old are you?
Cecily Eighteen.
Lady Bracknell Well, you’ll soon be able to decide yourself who to marry.
Jack Excuse me, Lady Bracknell, but Miss Cardew doesn’t come of age until she is 35, only then can she marry who she likes.
Lady Bracknell Oh, that’s not a problem. Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women who have remained 35 for years. Lady Dumbleton, for example, she’s been 35 ever since she turned 40, a long time ago.
Cecily But I can’t wait that long. I hate waiting even five minutes for someone. Waiting, even to be married, is just not possible.
Algernon Well, what shall we do, Cecily?
Cecily I don’t know, Algernon.
Lady Bracknell My dear Mr Worthing, as Miss Cardew says she cannot wait till she is 35 – which seems to indicate she is a little impatient – could you change your mind?
Jack My dear Lady Bracknell, the moment you agree to my marriage with Gwendolen, I will happily allow your nephew to become engaged to Cecily.
Lady Bracknell That is impossible. Look at the time! Gwendolen, dear, we’ve already missed five trains.
Narrator But they’ll miss the next one, too, because Reverend Chasuble arrives to announce that everything is ready for the christenings.
Lady Bracknell Christenings, sir! Isn’t that a little premature?
Chasuble Both these gentlemen have said they want to be christened this afternoon.
Lady Bracknell At their age? That’s ridiculous! Algernon, Lord Bracknell would be very unhappy if he knew this was how you wasted your time and money.
Chasuble So, no christenings this afternoon?
Jack It would be no use to either of us, Reverend Chasuble, at the moment.
Chasuble Well, I’ll return to the church straight away. It seems Miss Prism has been waiting there for me for an hour and a half.
Lady Bracknell Miss Prism! Did you say Miss Prism?
Chasuble Yes, Lady Bracknell. I’m going to see her now.
Lady Bracknell Wait a moment. Is this Miss Prism an unattractive woman, connected with education?
Chasuble She’s very well educated indeed.
Lady Bracknell It’s obviously the same person. And what position does she have in your house?
Jack Miss Prism, Lady Bracknell, is Miss Cardew’s governess.
Lady Bracknell I must see her at once.
Chasuble Well, she’s here now! Look, she’s coming up the garden path.
Narrator Miss Prism arrives. When she sees Lady Bracknell, she goes white.
Lady Bracknell Prism! Come here! Where is that baby? Twenty-eight years ago, Prism, you left my house with a pram in which a male baby was sleeping. You never came back. The police found the pram.It contained a novel but no baby! Prism! What happened to that baby?
Miss Prism Lady Bracknell, I really don’t know. I wish I did. This is what happened. I took the baby out in its pram as usual. I also took with me a large, old handbag in which I was intending to put the novel that I had written. In a moment when I wasn’t thinking, I put the novel in the pram, and placed the baby in the bag.
Jack But where did you put the bag?
Miss Prism I left it in the cloakroom of a railway station in London.
Jack Which railway station?
Miss Prism Victoria.
Jack I must just go to my room.
Narrator He rushes off. After several minutes, Jack returns carrying a black leather bag.
Jack Is this the bag, Miss Prism?
Miss Prism Yes, here are my initials. I’m so pleased to get it back so unexpectedly. It has been very inconvenient not to have it all these years.
Jack Miss Prism, it’s not just the bag that has been given back to you. I was the baby in it.
Miss Prism You?
Jack Yes… mother!
Miss Prism Mr Worthing, there is some mistake! Lady Bracknell can tell you who you really are.
Jack Lady Bracknell, I hate to be inquisitive, but could you tell me who I am?
Lady Bracknell I’m afraid you are the son of my poor sister, Mrs Moncrieff. You are Algernon’s elder brother.
Jack Algy’s elder brother! Then I do have a brother. I always said I had a brother! Algy, you’ll have to treat me with more respect in future. You have never behaved like a brother to me.
Algernon I did my best.
Gwendolen My darling! But what is your christian name, now that you have become someone else?
Jack Good heavens! I had forgotten about that. Lady Bracknell, when Miss Prism left me in the bag, had I been christened already?
Lady Bracknell Your parents gave you everything, including a christening.
Jack Well, what name was I given?
Lady Bracknell You were the eldest son, so you were given your father’s name.
Jack Yes, but what was his name?
Lady Bracknell I cannot remember the General’s full name.
Jack Algy! Can’t you remember what our father’s name was?
Algernon My dear fellow, I was one when he died.
Jack His name would appear in the army lists, wouldn’t it, Lady Bracknell?
Lady Bracknell That’s true.
Jack I have the lists of the last 40 years here.
Narrator He rushes to the bookcase and pulls the books out.
Jack Generals… Mallam, Migsby, Moncrieff! General 1869, his full name was… Jack Ernest! … I always told you, Gwendolen, my name was Ernest, didn’t I? Well, it is Ernest after all.
Gwendolen Ernest! My own Ernest! I felt from the beginning that you could have no other name!
Jack Gwendolen, it is a terrible thing for a man to suddenly find out that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth. Can you forgive me?
Gwendolen I can. For I’m sure you will change.
Jack My darling!
Narrator And Jack embraces Gwendolen. Algernon does the same with Cecily. Even Reverend Chasuble embraces someone – Miss Prism, much to her delight.
Jack Gwendolen! At last!
Lady Bracknell My nephew, you are showing a lack of seriousness.
Jack No, it’s the opposite, Lady Bracknell. I’ve now realised for the first time in my life the extreme Importance of Being Earnest.
Vocabulary
guardian someone who is legally responsible for someone else such as a child whose parents cannot look after them (perhaps because they have died)
comes of age when a person becomes adult by law
christening a religious ceremony in the Christian Church during which a baby is given a name and becomes a member of the Christian Church
premature too soon
governess a woman who in the past lived with a family and taught the children
cloakroom place in a theatre, restaurant and previously in railway stations, where you can leave coats, bags and other small items
initials the first letters of a person’s names
unexpectedly surprisingly
inconvenient difficult
inquisitive curious, asking lots of questions
luxury something that is very nice to have but is not necessary
embraces holds someone in your arms to show you love them
earnest serious and determined
Credits
Miss Cecily Cardew: Alice Brown
Miss Gwendolen Fairfax: Sophie Napleton
Jack Worthing: Tim Gibson
Algernon Moncreiff: Darren Benedict
Lady Bracknell: Miranda Jaquarello
Reverend Chasuble: Rob Carter
Miss Prism: Catherine Chapman
Narrator: Finn Aberdein
Original play written by: Oscar Wilde
Adaptation by: Sue Mushin
Illustrator: Magdolna Terray
ELT consultant: Catherine Chapman
Producer: Finn Aberdein